But days like today, when the memory of her laughter comes crashing in around me, when I can almost feel her warm embrace, when I close my eyes and try to see her again... these are the days that crush me. They sneak up on me and I can't seem to stop them. And suddenly the weight of all that grief wraps itself around me and the tears begin to fall. My chest get tight and a sharp pain radiates from the center. My breathing gets labored. The sobbing is uncontrollable. I just want to immerse myself in the agony and loneliness.
Then there is a tiny voice inside the chaos of my mind calling out to me. Soothing me. Reminding me that things are not as they seem. The mourning starts to quieten. The ache begins to ease. And I feel the love of my Savior envelope me deep in my soul. In the aftermath of my despair I find comfort in Jesus Christ. In his love for me and in his promise to me. I am never alone. I may not have my Momma here anymore, but I will always have the hand of my Redeemer to hang onto. To find solace in. To find rest. My Momma's time on this earth has come and gone. Now she spends each day rejoicing and praising our Lord. One day, I will join her in Glory and that will be a marvelous day! Though I am in NO hurry! :-)
My God has given me an amazing life to live with an incredible job to do. And I couldn't be happier! Of course there will still come times when the pain of her absence feels like it is too strong to bear, but I know my God is there for me! He will reach down and touch my heart with the reminder of his grace and suddenly the pain won't be so bad. I'm sure many of you can relate to the sorrow of losing a loved one, maybe some even before we thought they should. My prayer is that you can also relate to the comfort and peace I have found in Jesus. Everyday isn't easy, and there are many struggles that come my way. But even when I find myself wallowing in my despair, God is there to lift me back up. I am so very grateful for that reassuring love.
Remember that you never know what someone is going through or what is on their hearts. A smile on the outside isn't always indicative to how a person is really feeling. Try to be a blessing to someone today. And if you feel God placing someone on your heart or mind, stop for a minute and say a prayer for them. Maybe even take it a step further and reach out to them. Even if it's just a text or call to say you're thinking of them. You never know what it might mean. God placed them on your heart for a reason.
God Bless You All!